I never know how to speak of Herb in English. Technically, he is my common law spouse, I guess, but that is not easy to use in conversation. He is also my boyfriend, though he is not a boy and boyfriend sounds so juvenile. Let’s just forget the tentative man-friend. He is my spouse, but we are not married (although some people will speak of my “hubby”)… For sure, he is my partner, but the word partner carries a lot of political weight, in the sense that it is a word claimed (rightfully) by gays and lesbians, and when I use it, sometimes people assume that I am a lesbian (not that this is a problem per se: the problem is only that it interferes with the clarity of my message). I’d be very interested to hear others’ thoughts on this. Especially thoughts from people whose mother tongue is English. In French? I usually say “conjoint”, which refers to spouse but does not imply marriage and is not as heavy as common law spouse, even though it refers to the same reality. The GDT speaks of de facto spouse (again appropriate but long and cumbersome) and of cohabitant. Hmmm. Herb is my cohabitant? He may well be, but I don’t think I’ll be calling him that anytime soon.

I never know how to speak of Herb in English. Technically, he is my common law spouse, I guess, but that is not easy to use in conversation. He is also my boyfriend, though he is not a boy and boyfriend sounds so juvenile. Let’s just forget the tentative man-friend. He is my spouse, but we are not married (although some people will speak of my “hubby”)… For sure, he is my partner, but the word partner carries a lot of political weight, in the sense that it is a word claimed (rightfully) by gays and lesbians, and when I use it, sometimes people assume that I am a lesbian (not that this is a problem per se: the problem is only that it interferes with the clarity of my message). I’d be very interested to hear others’ thoughts on this. Especially thoughts from people whose mother tongue is English. In French? I usually say “conjoint”, which refers to spouse but does not imply marriage and is not as heavy as common law spouse, even though it refers to the same reality. The GDT speaks of de facto spouse (again appropriate but long and cumbersome) and of cohabitant. Hmmm. Herb is my cohabitant? He may well be, but I don’t think I’ll be calling him that anytime soon.